Up until November 11, 2011, I thought i stayed pretty current. Ahead of the game even. I almost verged on taking pride in knowing about things before anyone else. And then came Skyrim. I had heard of it once or twice, and all I knew about it was that it was that one Youtube game ads that I consistently "Skipped after 5 seconds" every time it popped up. Life was normal and quite frankly it made sense. And then came Skyrim.
Now don't get me wrong, I like videogames. Love 'em. They're my thing. But this...this got out of hand.
Act. I.
It all started at church one afternoon. I walked in as usual expecting to have stimulating conversation about normal things. And then came Skyrim. A particular youth (who will remain nameless) rushed to me from the moment I entered and accosted me with facts, plans, names, and things he was doing in this magical game called Skyrim. I was basically like "cool story bro" and moved on.
Act II.
After service I moved in my quest for civilized dialogue, but was stymied on my way, by two nameless girls. GIRLS. Two of whom I KNOW beyond a shadow don't even like videogames. But there they were, having what seemed like an in-depth discussion about guess what? SKYRIM. Had this trend spread to everyone? I could not escape. The hype alone made me want to reject the whole thing altogether. Shocked and appalled, I ran from them, hands over ears in the style of The Christian from Pilgrim's Progress.
Act III.
The following days were inundated with Skyrim references and "Arrow-to-the-knee" jokes (i couldn't quite understand why everyone and their mom were getting shot in the knees). I managed to avoid it to the best of my mortal ability. And then came the straw that broke the Skyrim camel's back.
I was in the library at school, working on important things. And then came Skyrim (this time in the form of another Nameless Student). The following dialogue is true. It really happened as thus:
Student: Do you play Skyrim???????? (Think of this in the most excited voice possible.)
Me: No. (Think of this in the most dry, uninterested tone ever.)
Student: Oh. Then what do you do for entertainment? (the "I'm so sorry for you" tone in his voice was unmistakable)
THAT WAS IT. JUST BECAUSE I DON'T PLAY STUPID SKYRIM DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That one question changed my quest. Instead of rejecting Skyrim, I decided to play it. And play it, I did. I'm sure you're waiting for a big ending in which I hated it and sledgehammered the disc into ground screaming taunts at every Skyrim fan in the world. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but I liked it. Against my better will, I liked it. Thank you Skyrim for carving me a social life in the rock of my existence Now, I can die a cool cat. I couldn't have done it without you.
[my.social life. goes. here]
