Okay before I begin, THIS BLOG POST IS NOT MEANT TO STEP ON ANY TOES. It is a cry for justice.
I begin.
If you've signed your life away to the addictive medium known as Facebook you most likely have seen the recent influx of copypastas like "Like my status to see how I really feel about you"or "TBH (for the layman, To Be Honest)" or "If like this status if you've ever had a crush on me, comment if you think I'm cute, inbox me if you think i look like a giraffe, copy this as your status if you want to join the legions of Facebook users cluttering the newsfeeds of civilized people."
To begin with, why do I have to like your status to know how you truly feel? Can't we like have a heartfelt tete-a-tete over coffee or something? Guess not. It makes soooooo much more sense to post my feelings for all my 4722 friends to see.
Also, what exactly are you expecting to hear from the person whose status you liked? Obviously something positive. But what if... WHAT IF somebody flipped the script and said something negative?
>Billy-Bob Smith: TBH
>Ooh I want so desperately to know how Billy-Bob feels about me! Maybe he will publicly express the depths of his affections! "Like"
>Billy-Bob Smith posted on your wall
"TBH I don't like you. That is all."
*FAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAIL*
That my dear friends is what is called a wasted "like", and is one less friend you will have. But hey, now all 4722 of your closest friends know about the upcoming feud you will soon be having.
Isn't social networking just splendid?
But hey, what right have I to complain? The TBH movement makes so much more sense than the social customs that have lasted for centuries and have built lasting friendships, relationships and alliances. TBH i'm just a stick-in-the-mud who needs to get with the program. My bad, guys. My bad.
[ragequit.goes.here.]
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Saturday, December 10, 2011
[name.goes.here]
I was introduced to the "bloggosphere" by a very intelligent sibling. Let me tell you, I was scared. I wrote that first sentence that you see up there about 54 times. "What do I write about?" was the pervading question. What do I name my blog? What if nobody likes it?
I was promptly told that I was being silly, and there's no such thing as a bad blog. My intelligent sibling instructed me to write about my feelings. Feelings. Okay, good. I have those. Well i feel that i should have been born a dinosaur. I feel that ninjas are so much cooler than pirates. I also feel that awkward moments can be made entirely more awkward by randomly shouting "OH MY WORD THERE'S A CATERPILLAR ON YOUR FACE!!!"
But those are not really good things to write about.
I started to study other bloggers. (My intelligent sibling's blog was among them). I took profuse notes.
1. Bloggers do that random "Paragraph/Line Skippy Thing" that you've probably noticed me doing above. I have no idea what this signifies, but I guess it is an expression of individuality, or intelligence.
2. Bloggers can weave together a long list of random disjointed thoughts into a glossy and oftentimes humorously eloquent entry of random disjointed thoughts. This part takes real talent and panache.
3. Bloggers have awesome names that instantly give you a vivid mental picture of what it is you are going to read. I on the other hand chose the title: [name.goes.here].
To the philosophical thinker, one might think the name signifies the ability of the reader to find themselves in whatever it is that I write. Which is a whole lot better than my original reason for selecting a title such as that. As an emerging blogger with the occasional, egregious plague of Writer's Block (and we all know what a nefarious demon that can be) I thought it witty to draw from my lack of ideas for my premier entry. Yeah. Great idea right?
So with my Grab-Bag of Huge Vocabulary Words, and my Sword of Prose I set off on this journey of blogging, and what an adventure this is shaping up to be.
As a final thought, most bloggers leave you with a catchphrase or a final thought, but alas I have not one. Except this, can you find yourself in the same boat as me? At a loss for words, or with an apparent surplus of idioms? I think I just might have both.
Love, Alexander
[your name. goes. here.]
I was promptly told that I was being silly, and there's no such thing as a bad blog. My intelligent sibling instructed me to write about my feelings. Feelings. Okay, good. I have those. Well i feel that i should have been born a dinosaur. I feel that ninjas are so much cooler than pirates. I also feel that awkward moments can be made entirely more awkward by randomly shouting "OH MY WORD THERE'S A CATERPILLAR ON YOUR FACE!!!"
But those are not really good things to write about.
I started to study other bloggers. (My intelligent sibling's blog was among them). I took profuse notes.
1. Bloggers do that random "Paragraph/Line Skippy Thing" that you've probably noticed me doing above. I have no idea what this signifies, but I guess it is an expression of individuality, or intelligence.
2. Bloggers can weave together a long list of random disjointed thoughts into a glossy and oftentimes humorously eloquent entry of random disjointed thoughts. This part takes real talent and panache.
3. Bloggers have awesome names that instantly give you a vivid mental picture of what it is you are going to read. I on the other hand chose the title: [name.goes.here].
To the philosophical thinker, one might think the name signifies the ability of the reader to find themselves in whatever it is that I write. Which is a whole lot better than my original reason for selecting a title such as that. As an emerging blogger with the occasional, egregious plague of Writer's Block (and we all know what a nefarious demon that can be) I thought it witty to draw from my lack of ideas for my premier entry. Yeah. Great idea right?
So with my Grab-Bag of Huge Vocabulary Words, and my Sword of Prose I set off on this journey of blogging, and what an adventure this is shaping up to be.
As a final thought, most bloggers leave you with a catchphrase or a final thought, but alas I have not one. Except this, can you find yourself in the same boat as me? At a loss for words, or with an apparent surplus of idioms? I think I just might have both.
Love, Alexander
[your name. goes. here.]
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